owlmylove:

shslequius:

"Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning" is literally just the human version of "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

what have you done

507,488 notes

I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck.
the 1975. (via 7195km)

(Source: portamial-mare)

241,956 notes

whiskey-wolf:

c0caino:

"dobby can only be freed if master presents him with bbq"

spit water fucking Everywhere oh my god

whiskey-wolf:

c0caino:

"dobby can only be freed if master presents him with bbq"

spit water fucking Everywhere oh my god

110,202 notes

libertybeforedeath:

Once you get a taste of sleeping next to someone, sleeping alone in your own bed really sucks.

224,723 notes

youkilledmyfatherpreparetopie:

jcatgrl:

bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

imagine eating one of those in public. you make eye contact with someone. lick it a couple more times. swirl your tongue around. AND THEN YOU BITE IT IN HALF.

tumblr is such an interesting place to look at in public

(Source: saramortis)

298,765 notes